2012/06/18 § Leave a Comment
Gregory Sherl on the theme of conspiracy.
The Bees! The Bees! The Bees!
Even E.T. understands Krycek was born bad. Even with only one arm, he’s two arms bad. Even with one arm, who can afford the travel expenses? Space to Earth to underground Earth to maybe space again if you’re missing someone pretty can get expensive as fuck. What I’ve learned: There’s too much sky to believe in science. Three days later, Jesus moved a boulder. So what? It is understandable to scream in dark hallways tinted red. It never ends well when someone goes Let me put it to you simply, it’s him or us. It sucks, man, that guy was just so cold and that shit just ripped itself out of him. The marks on that wall look like they might’ve been from Wolverine. Someone warn Agent Mulder that Wolverine escaped and is in the wrong show. I have built mountaintops and have forgotten about them. I have built second mountaintops because I forgot about the first mountaintops. Now, we are always up. Look down, Skinner is so mild in his baldness. Everything tinted red means CAUTION MOTHERFUCKER. Skinner gets pushed into a car. He’s had a bad forty minutes not counting commercials. It hurts even more because he’s all carbon now. I don’t want to talk about Skinner anymore. Scully, hang your pantsuit up, we’re fucking later.
Supermoon, You Done Fucked Up
Krycek only has one arm but he can push old men in wheelchairs down a flight of stairs. I guess you only need one arm to do that, maybe just one finger, probably the thumb since it’s the thickest, like my cock after Scully gets out of the shower, says There weren’t any towels, so I thought I’d just drip myself to you. Season 8 is the worst. Don’t even wake me up when the commercials end. I’m saying Hell, just don’t even wake me up. I got a bad case of heartstrings. Never buy that shit on sale, you’ll stay fucked up way after she leaves. You’ll stay fucked before she gets there and that’s why she’ll leave. I didn’t even mention the important part yet: Mulder got abducted and now they’ve got T-1000 out to find him but what do sheets of metal under layers of mediocre skin know about missing sisters? Scully is still dripping but it’s for a different reason. We bought a California King bed because we wanted a room too soft to stand on. We float through most afternoons. She says Maybe this is what Mulder feels like in space right now, and then she kisses my chest and then I make the cameras fade to black. If this were a new poem, it’d open with me telling Skinner I miss Mulder, too. Skinner feels guiltier than an empty medicine cabinet, so he always cleans his glasses when nobody’s looking. I bet he’s got a bleeding ulcer. He knows what he saw and like twelve million other people know what he saw, too. We all saw it: that invisible force field, that spaceship repairing itself. Episodes later they cut into Mulder’s chest and women everywhere cry. It’s not your fault I tell Skinner, and then there’s a supermoon we both look at for a while. Then the clouds cover the supermoon and those clouds aren’t even super. What the fuck, supermoon? I look at Scully but she’s looking at a glass of wine she finished seven minutes ago, give or take six minutes. Being doped up rules.
Yeezy Reupholstered The X-Files
Gregory Sherl is the author of some books, most recently The Oregon Trail is the Oregon Trail. He is also the author of Heavy Petting and the forthcoming Monogamy Songs, which will be released this fall from Future Tense Books. He also rewrote the Bible. It’s called The Bible by Gregory Sherl.